“What do people incorrectly assume about you?”
When first reading this prompt, I can see an avalanche of responses that could come tumbling down from it. It seems like a prompt that one could easily reveal their deepest inner feelings that make them self-conscious – but are those the things that people actually assume, or the things you imagine them to assume?
I will play along for one thing that people actually assume about me and that is my age. I am always told that I look younger than what I am – and have been told that for most of my adult life. From what I hear from old people, that is a good thing and will serve me well as I get older.
As far as I know, that is one thing that people incorrectly assume about me and if they assume anything else about me – I do not care.
At one point in my life, I may have answered this prompt much differently because I was young, dumb, naive, paranoid and self-conscious. I think that we all must go through that phase and when our minds are filled with self-doubt, I believe that our problems are products of our imaginations more than a product of reality. Maybe I am incorrectly assuming that people have their own problems, so they are not as worried about you as you think they are.
On the other hand I can see that many people would take this prompt as an opportunity to say that they are incorrectly assumed to be happy, healthy people with perfect lives, but really, deep down they are depressed and working through issues that no one can imagine. I think that most people do assume that life is generally good, generally normal (whatever that means) for all people. Of course we know that it is not true that we are all living happy lives in a sterile laboratory environment, but how do we get past the facade that people project to the world? Do these people who are unhappy beneath the surface really want someone to reach out? I can only imagine how depressed it could make someone if a complete stranger reached out and said they noticed it.
Then again, it could be a blessing that someone paid attention – and in contradiction of my statement in the blog yesterday, it could save a life. I think that there is a fear in the person who reaches out too though. Will they then become this person’s therapist or outlet for all things going wrong in their life? Maybe they are the nurturer who can handle that, but then again, maybe they do not have the intestinal fortitude or mental prowess to deal with a relationship connected by mental health issues.
I am speaking in great generalities here and mainly from my experience in my past life. I am a solitary person, but I want connection. I want silence, and yet I was to converse deeply. Temperament & the human psyche is a complex thing that we may never fully understand, and while I think that therapy may be an important step for some, when you realize the power is in the patient – and revelations & break-throughs are self-generated, you can awake a new power within your Self and end the dependence upon therapist or medication depending on your situation. Isn’t it funny how much I put up my guard only to dive into the depths of hidden sides of people?
I suppose it is only natural, but it takes me to my original point – no matter what assumptions people have of me – I do not care.
What matters is the opinions of my family, my friends, and most importantly, myself. No one else can alter my life, only I can do that; only I should be taking responsibility for that. Others may help me, but they have no autonomy over my life.
We have lost that idea of Self and autonomy in a world of mandates and sheepishly abiding by guidelines handed down by the propagandists & aristocracies that run our media & our government. I guess that another thing people incorrectly assume about me is that I will smile & nod along and follow the crowd – maybe they assume that we all will. What they do not realize is that a great majority of us believe in the principles that founded this country, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”.
Many are willing to sacrifice their liberties for “safety” because they realize not what they are doing or saying, just as a tiger who was born in a zoo does not wish to be released into the wild to hunt for its food or protect his territory – neither of which he has the skills to execute upon what should be instinctual acts.
We are all not what we seem on the surface, and that is okay. People will mis-judge us and mischaracterize us our whole lives, but we should not allow these misconceptions to shape our understandings of ourselves. Carry on with life and Live.
When the curtains close on life, none of those who judged you will be by your side still judging. You will be lucky to have your family on this side of Earth, but the Ultimate Judge beyond this life is the only one who should matter. When it is your time, it will all be between you and Almighty God – and he will welcome you with open arms, happy to have seen you glorify Him by living your best life.
5 thoughts on “Freedom from Assumptions”
Freedom from assumptions is freedom from overthinking and stress.
That’s for sure! It’s a skill that one must master over time, but the freedom allows you to breathe fully and release from feelings of guilt or shame that hold us back
Of course people will incorrectly assume this and that about each other. I know from personal experience, that no one can actually know the thoughts of another (something at sometimes we can be truly grateful for). Many times I find it hard to understand my own thoughts, especially the silly ones retrospectively.
There’s several trains of thought I like to travel on safely and they are:
1) The work of Byron Katie.
2) Marshall B. Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication.
I definitely resonate with your thoughts and appreciate the suggestions for future reading – I’ll have to check them out!
Both can be found in YouTube as snippets. I once took out a book from the library written by Byron Katie, but thankfully I’ve never had to pay for any of the advice/methods, but they’re seriously worthy of respect.