Posted on 5 Comments

Freedom from Assumptions

person hand reaching body of water

“What do people incorrectly assume about you?”

When first reading this prompt, I can see an avalanche of responses that could come tumbling down from it. It seems like a prompt that one could easily reveal their deepest inner feelings that make them self-conscious – but are those the things that people actually assume, or the things you imagine them to assume?

I will play along for one thing that people actually assume about me and that is my age. I am always told that I look younger than what I am – and have been told that for most of my adult life. From what I hear from old people, that is a good thing and will serve me well as I get older.

As far as I know, that is one thing that people incorrectly assume about me and if they assume anything else about me – I do not care.

At one point in my life, I may have answered this prompt much differently because I was young, dumb, naive, paranoid and self-conscious. I think that we all must go through that phase and when our minds are filled with self-doubt, I believe that our problems are products of our imaginations more than a product of reality. Maybe I am incorrectly assuming that people have their own problems, so they are not as worried about you as you think they are.

On the other hand I can see that many people would take this prompt as an opportunity to say that they are incorrectly assumed to be happy, healthy people with perfect lives, but really, deep down they are depressed and working through issues that no one can imagine. I think that most people do assume that life is generally good, generally normal (whatever that means) for all people. Of course we know that it is not true that we are all living happy lives in a sterile laboratory environment, but how do we get past the facade that people project to the world? Do these people who are unhappy beneath the surface really want someone to reach out? I can only imagine how depressed it could make someone if a complete stranger reached out and said they noticed it.

Then again, it could be a blessing that someone paid attention – and in contradiction of my statement in the blog yesterday, it could save a life. I think that there is a fear in the person who reaches out too though. Will they then become this person’s therapist or outlet for all things going wrong in their life? Maybe they are the nurturer who can handle that, but then again, maybe they do not have the intestinal fortitude or mental prowess to deal with a relationship connected by mental health issues.

I am speaking in great generalities here and mainly from my experience in my past life. I am a solitary person, but I want connection. I want silence, and yet I was to converse deeply. Temperament & the human psyche is a complex thing that we may never fully understand, and while I think that therapy may be an important step for some, when you realize the power is in the patient – and revelations & break-throughs are self-generated, you can awake a new power within your Self and end the dependence upon therapist or medication depending on your situation. Isn’t it funny how much I put up my guard only to dive into the depths of hidden sides of people?

I suppose it is only natural, but it takes me to my original point – no matter what assumptions people have of me – I do not care.

What matters is the opinions of my family, my friends, and most importantly, myself. No one else can alter my life, only I can do that; only I should be taking responsibility for that. Others may help me, but they have no autonomy over my life.

We have lost that idea of Self and autonomy in a world of mandates and sheepishly abiding by guidelines handed down by the propagandists & aristocracies that run our media & our government. I guess that another thing people incorrectly assume about me is that I will smile & nod along and follow the crowd – maybe they assume that we all will. What they do not realize is that a great majority of us believe in the principles that founded this country, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”.

Many are willing to sacrifice their liberties for “safety” because they realize not what they are doing or saying, just as a tiger who was born in a zoo does not wish to be released into the wild to hunt for its food or protect his territory – neither of which he has the skills to execute upon what should be instinctual acts.

We are all not what we seem on the surface, and that is okay. People will mis-judge us and mischaracterize us our whole lives, but we should not allow these misconceptions to shape our understandings of ourselves. Carry on with life and Live.

When the curtains close on life, none of those who judged you will be by your side still judging. You will be lucky to have your family on this side of Earth, but the Ultimate Judge beyond this life is the only one who should matter. When it is your time, it will all be between you and Almighty God – and he will welcome you with open arms, happy to have seen you glorify Him by living your best life.

Posted on 3 Comments

Advice for my Teenage Self

astronomical clock in prague

When I saw that the first writing prompt for Bloganuary was “advice for my teenage self”, I balked at it and felt slightly discouraged. To me, it seemed slightly out of place to have the writing prompt for New Year’s Day to be focused on looking backwards instead of being hopeful for what the future may bring. Perhaps it was my own experiences in my teenage years that made me feel this way, or maybe it is my current disposition to only look forward; to stare out into the horizon and to envision what is coming rather than to crank my neck in retrospect and dream of “what if” and think of all the things that I could have done differently.

The truth is that I would not have done anything differently, and I would find it difficult to offer any advice to my teenage self because I believe that everything worked out well – and everything happened for a reason whether I realized that in the moment or not. Life and time is not something that can be changed or manipulated after the fact, but rather it must be faced for what it is and what it was.

The advice I would offer my teenage self would be to listen – so I suppose that is not advice at all, but it would be lending an ear to hear what I needed in that moment. Would my younger self offer anything up to a stranger? Would I know that it was me from the future? And even if I did have the knowledge that it was me, would I have the courage to say anything? I think that I would wonder why my future self was asking a question rather than offering advice – or maybe he just remembered the struggles that raged within my mind & heart; the thunderstorms of my soul.

Certainly I could offer advice on the stock market – and tell myself to buy 10 Bitcoin when I was pondering it at $800 – or maybe I could catch myself when it was pennies for a Bitcoin. What would life be like if I were lucky enough to realize what I was dealing with when seeing such a foreign concept?

Rather than looking back at what I would say to my teenage self, I now wonder – what advice would my 50 year old self offer to me at 31? That seems like a more reasonable question to ask, and one that makes you think in a futuristic position rather than wishing and wanting to alter your past. It makes me wonder whether the Metaverse will be the next Bitcoin – or whether it is a trap. It makes me wonder if my current thoughts are correct – “the way of the past is the way of the future” is one adage that I live by that I believe is a gold mine.

There is so much advice that we wish we had when we were younger, but what do we need right now? How can we position ourselves to be successful in 20 years? I do not think that we can quite comprehend that because our society tells us that we need to obtain our successes right now and they shove the success of the .000001% in our faces constantly while ramming propaganda down our throats. To be successful is not to be rich, to not make mistakes, and not to look backwards with a desire to change our past – it is being Happy in the moment and realizing all of the riches of the blessings that we hold in family, friends, and in our Self.

I guess I cheated this prompt because I would not change a thing about my journey through life because it shaped me into who I am today, and every little thing that occurred happened for a reason – down to the very second so that I can be in the place I am today, living with my soul mate, my newborn son, our dogs, on a career path that I love, and with a world full of excitement & opportunities ahead of me.

Plus – do I really think that my teenage self would listen to any outside advice?